Haiku: Great Literature for the Time-Poor
W. Shakespeare
More silly battles?
If I start feeling sea-sick
I’m leaving. So there!
Hamlet
Mother fixation.
Parricidal tendencies.
Probably violent?
Romeo and Juliet
Crazy, mixed-up kids!
“Nobody understands us.
Let’s get high and die!”
Taming of the Shrew
“Phallocentric beast
Abuses brave feminist.”
(Postmodern reading).
The Tempest
Enslaves the natives.
Controls the weather, wrecks ships.
This guy’s a menace!
Henry V
“Feel like a fight, mate?
Just send me some tennis balls.
Then watch me grab yours!”
Othello
“She’s lost a Kleenex?
Stuffed down her boyfriend’s jockstrap.
Never trust whitey!”
King Lear
That tiresome old fart!
Turns up with three hundred knights
Then stays for six months!
Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice
An acknowledged truth
Young ladies love to marry
Ten thousand acres.
Poor Liz was upset
When Wickham got his wick in.
Darcy might ditch her!
She needn’t have worried,
A spinster’s novel always
Ends with a marriage.
Emma
Rich girl matchmaking.
Clueless bungler! Then finds out
She wants it Knightly.
J. Conrad
Heart of Darkness
That cheap river-cruise!
Mad Belgians, bugs, mosquitoes.
The loo! The horror!
Agatha Christie
Any Novel
In the library,
The least likely butler,
Gets booked for murder.
Dashiell Hammet
The Maltese Falcon
Both the chicks Spade chased,
The bird and that hot-pants dame,
Turned out to be fakes.
U. Le Guinn
Left Hand of Darkness
All so confusing!
My furry alien boyfriend,
Claimed he was pregnant.
Cormac McCarthy
Blood Meridian
Crazed Judge runs amok.
Joins bikies, kills, burns, rapes, scalps.
Thinks he’s Jehovah.
The Crossing
South of the Border
Gypsies with an aeroplane
Are dancing with wolves.
You understand it?
Let’s sit down and discuss God
In His ruined church.
Cities of the Plain
Epileptic whores?
Riding bareback is fatal
Stick to your whorses.
The Road
Their shopping trolley
Ash-filled, now fast approaches
The Final Check-Out.
COPYRIGHT (C) 2010 J D FRODSHAM
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